My prayer for you

As I gave thanks on Thursday, and continued throughout the weekend, calling to mind people in my life I am grateful for, I couldn’t help thinking of you, dear reader.

Many are faithful friends and family. At times I hear from you and have a sense of what is going on inside your life. At times I have to read between the lines, or silences.

Others of you are strangers, connected through the wonder of words and Wi-Fi. If you’re a fellow writer or blogger, I read your words, searching your face and listening for the link between us.

My heart goes out to the young lady with the world on her shoulders, as well as the one who feels invisible. Having spent the early years of my life as a shadow, I know that land far too well. 

© Jack H Thompson
© Jack H Thompson

Yesterday, we celebrated with our five-year-old granddaughter, her home packed with family and school friends to wish her Happy Birthday. I watched her efforts to relate to many different personalities, the whirl of activity, so many people and interests calling for her engagement.

©Jack H Thompson
©Jack H Thompson

When I compose my blog, sometimes the ideas and words take shape before I even sit at the computer. Other days, trying to reach out to each of you, I am frustrated, knowing I can’t touch you all at one time. Like my granddaughter, my thoughts dash this way and that, seeking an encounter that holds meaning, something that will send you from this party the better for it.

As I often do when in need of inspiration or guidance, I opened the Bible, in this case, the YouVersion app on my phone. I scanned my bookmarks and found what I would say if we could sit together on the patio, or under a palm tree, in front of the fireplace, or walking on a snowy path.

©Jack H Thompson
©Jack H Thompson

My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth.

sunset on Marco Island

I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—

that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in.Amberley door

And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, 

©Jack H Thompson
©Jack H Thompson

you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love.

Reach out and experience the breadth!

Test its length! Plumb the depths!

Rise to the heights!

Lily coming out of the water retrieving

         Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.                                       Ephesians 3:14-19 The Message

A new focus

Beginnings and endings of life offer more than statistics. We are often faced with an experience that pulls us from our daily-ness and refocuses us.

Recently I recalled one of those events that took place over six years ago.

After my grandson was delivered prematurely, he seemed fine for the first 24 hours, then his little lungs couldn’t keep his oxygen levels up. He was taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). That night I contacted friends and relatives across the world to pray for him.

I had no idea how serious it had been until I was sitting by him several days later, watching five medical personal working furiously on another little boy. They lost him.

A nurse approached and nodded his way. “That was your grandson on Sunday night. We’d done everything we could, but nothing worked. We’d about given up when, for no reason, he turned the corner and pulled through.”

I told her about all the prayers. She shrugged. “Well, I don’t know much about that kind of thing, but he’s alive, and it’s for sure a miracle.”

Unable to touch him because his heart rate would soar, I had to spend my few minutes of visitation time just looking, and talking and praying. When I drove away from the hospital, blinded by tears, I had to pull over.

newborn in NICU

“Lord,” I gripped the steering wheel and cried. “We’re grateful that you saved him, but to start life in a plastic box, IV’s and monitors all over his tiny body, lights blinking, monitors beeping and alarms sounding, with the background of rock music from the radio – what a terrible first impression! And we can’t even touch him and comfort him.” I wiped away the tears. “Please, hold him while we can’t. And do something to block out those sounds.” Feeling more peaceful, I dried my eyes and drove on.

Big sister holding him for the first time
Big sister holding him for the first time

About six weeks later my daughter brought the kids to stay with us while she and her husband enjoyed the rare treat of a dinner out. Before she left, she warned me not to let the baby cry because it would drive his heart rate up.

When he grew sleepy, my grandson didn’t want to be put down, but wasn’t really happy being held, either. He began to fuss. I waltzed around the living and dining rooms, singing as I held him close, rubbing his back, and doing whatever I could to calm him.

Without even thinking about it, I switched to Spanish songs.  I started Pescador de Hombres, about Jesus after the resurrection, calling to Peter from the beach and looking into his eyes and smiling with love.

sunrise on water by Jack H Thompson

My grandson froze. Then he looked up at me, and I swear, it was as if he recognized the song! His whole body smiled. He exhaled and relaxed against me, in a deep, peaceful sleep.

As I continued to walk and hum the song, I “heard” a still, small voice say, “That was the song I was singing to him while I held him in the NICU.”

I still get chills remembering it.

Healthy boy at home
Healthy boy at home

My recent experience was with my youngest grandchild. During her first time alone with me she was tense and hadn’t made a sound for hours.  Even though she was exhausted she didn’t want me to put her down. I had to walk and sing. Finally, I sat to give her a bottle and asked her older sister to bring a book for me to read. She brought her children’s Bible.

From her questions about miracles I ended up telling her about her cousin in the NICU, and the song.  Of course, she asked me to sing it.

Grammi holding Elysse at 6 weeks

I was barely into the first verse when the little one shifted in my arms and looked at me with a “Why have you been waiting so long?” look. She started singing along, her whole body engaged. I kept singing, and she grew more and more animated, as if her life were tied to that song. When at last I became hoarse and stopped, she grew quiet again, but contented and relaxed.

Our good friend Hugo Pena, the retired Bishop of Honduras, used to tell us to work on our Spanish, because that is the language of heaven. Could he be right?

One thing is clear, there is so much more going on around and in us than our minds are aware of, than we can comprehend with our five senses or any amount of logic.

It is the Lord of Grace — Love surrounding us, holding us, calling to us when we’ve gone far away, singing into our spirits, breathing life into our bodies and souls.

 I’m asking God for one thing,  only one thing:

To live with him in his house my whole life long.
I’ll contemplate his beauty; I’ll study at his feet.

That’s the only quiet, secure place in a noisy world,
The perfect getaway, far from the buzz of traffic.

Psalm 27: 4-5 The Message

What love!

AT this writing I have nine grandchildren, and the mantle is beginning to sit comfortably on my shoulders. After my oldest granddaughter turned sixteen, I thought back to her first days of life, and how God began to instruct me through my interaction with the next generation.

Image

 I arrived as they were going home from the hospital. It was love at first touch.

After spending the first weeks with my oldest daughter, her husband, and Corrina, my precious first grandchild, it was time for me to leave. Tears blinded me as I nuzzled her fuzzy head, one last time.

Grammi cuddling Corrina

I placed her in my daughter’s arms and promised, “I’ll be back soon!”

With a final wave and an attempt at a calm face, I headed for the plane, my precious ones disappearing from view. I could still feel her warmth and softness.

I would not forget the imprint my first grandchild had made on my heart.

Image

At 30,000 feet, aching with loss, I opened my Bible and read Isaiah 49:15.

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”

With a sigh I laid my head back.

In that moment I glimpsed God’s love for me. He loves me the way I love Corrina. He hovers over me as I sleep, waiting to shower me with love and care as soon as I open my eyes and seek Him, as I had done with her. He aches when I cry in pain, and comes to my aid when I’m scared and calling for help. He yearns for me and seeks me when I wander.

Isaiah assured me that God loves me even more than I do my grandchild. Moreover, Jesus is as anxious to come back for me one day as I am to return to Corrina.

Under my breath, I quoted Psalm 139:13-14: “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Just as Corrina did nothing to earn her place in my heart, the value of my life was created in the heart of God, not in my usefulness or worth in this world.

We are all that valuable, all that loved, all that yearned for.

What promises! What love! What a God!