Under Construction

Continuing The Healing Path with two of my grown daughters, at every turn of the page I run headlong into my failures. All the times I journeyed poorly. Became blind-leading-the-blind for my children.

I really tried, most of the time, when my own wounds didn’t shout louder. To give my children a “so much more” life than I grew up with.

Neglect. Betrayal. Failure to act.

It’s a punch to the solar plexus as I recognize how my weaknesses betrayed my children, my needs took precedence over theirs.

Janie 4th grade
Janie 4th grade

Clearly, I haven’t been the person I yearned to be when I was ten, writing in the margins of my little white New Testament. My life did not take the track I planned.

But that’s not all there is.

When Jesus stretched out his hands and called me across the water, he began to work in me, sometimes breaking down and building anew, at times pulling up from my past to create an unknown strength.

It’s been a long pathway, full of twists and turns. I’m a work in progress.

Winding path in Switzerland © Jack H Thompson
Winding path in Switzerland © Jack H Thompson

At times, I jump in and try to help out. That never works out well. I’m still flawed, unable to make myself who I really want to be.

More and more, I sense that am being healed. Clay being reshaped by the Master Potter. Set free to be the person I was created to be.

I am fashioned by Love, to love. Created to create.

Whether you are in the “I’ve made too many mistakes” crowd or the “wait for me to get it all together” boat, I’m stretching a hand your way, inviting you to the dance of the “make-overs”. (HGTV doesn’t even come close!)

You are welcome to join the Under Construction Crew.

Come on in. The water’s fine!

Scripture leaves no doubt about it: There’s nobody living right, not even one, nobody who knows the score, nobody alert for God. They’ve all taken the wrong turn; they’ve all wandered down blind alleys. . . .
The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ. . . .
This is not only clear, but it’s now—this is current history! God sets things right. . . What we’ve learned is this: God does not respond to what we do; we respond to what God does. We’ve finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade.

Romans 3:9,14,28 The Message (YouVersion)

Where are you in the journey?

7 thoughts on “Under Construction

  1. It is only by asking , in truth, for forgiveness, that I can be healed. Perfection needs no healing right? But I’m so grateful for the GREAT PHYSICIAN. Who heals us all. I’m under construction too. I’m in it for a lifetime!

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  2. Well Sis – In spite of our weaknesses & failings as mothers God is the Redeemer! Fortunately, we are not expected to be perfect – just do the best we can & trust God. It is so great to hear about the healing journey you and the girls are on. God’s grace flows freely in your – our – lives. We have given our children so much more than we were given and now we have opportunities for healing the wounds in relationship with God and our children. Thank you for sharing so openly. I know it feels risky but I know you will continue to write as God leads you.

    Have you thought of writing a devotional/inspirational book rather than than fiction? You are definitely gifted with insights that are inspiring to others!

    I LOVE you Sis.

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    1. Thank you for your encouragement. Yes, it is wonderful to see the redemption that God is working out in our lives and our children and grandchildren, by means of studies like this as well as a million other ways.
      I am so grateful for that grace, as I am to have you as a sister and friend.

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  3. Thank you, Dani. That kind of sharing brings some fear and trembling after I hit “Publish,” knowing that some will consider me “less than,” since I’m going way beyond the polished exterior.

    The things I’m dealing with are often ignored by those content with their status quo, But we want real depth and a purer love, and that comes from deep cleansing, healing and forgiveness for all involved. And we are greatly blessed in the outcome.

    It is worth the struggle, pain and tears when we bring wounds out to the light of day, whether received from others or from our own hand. I am very grateful for the safety and love in our relationship that makes that kind of exchange possible..

    And I’m grateful for you.

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  4. What a beautiful post, Jane. I so appreciate your addressing your own scars and how they impacted your children.

    It takes a strong person to do that…

    To call their “failures” by name.
    And to say “I’m sorry” and really, truly mean it.

    Blessings to the three of you ❤

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