My health finally stabilized. And after a long recovery from hip repair surgery in November, I was walking further with my dog and playing with my grand-kids. Then something painful “popped” in my hip, and I’ve spent the last months in varying degrees of pain — walking, sitting or standing. For weeks I’ve battled an infection that made me a semi-invalid last year. My body clearly wasn’t up to the fight and I’ve had to start antibiotics. (Not simple, since I’m allergic to way too many, as well as still trying to heal my gut from last year’s antibiotic siege.) I’ve worked hard to get healthy and whole, free to engage with others, join in the lives of my family, return to teaching Bible classes, finish editing my books and complete another, to live a vibrant, meaningful life. As things seemed to be spinning out again, I’ve wondered, even prayed, “What am I doing wrong?”
If God would just tell me, I’d do it!
There must be a key.
Is there something important I’m not doing? Leaving out?
Every time this song, Thy Will by Hillary Scott, comes on the radio, my mind and emotions downshift.
When I’m working so hard to do it right, am I actually exhibiting lack of faith? After all, it’s not all about me, and I’m not God.
It’s hard to find a balance between accepting life as it comes from the hand of God, and fighting the good fight as we are called to do.
How do you thread that needle?
All I can do is recall what I know is true.
Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help. Hebrews 4:14-16 MSG
In place of the questions, I begin a new search.
Seeking small graces.
Naming what comes into my life today as a gift.
Trusting the giver.
Trusting the hands that gave them.
And, in the end, remembering this life is brief.
And there’s more to each day than we can ever see or understand.
So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. 2 Cor 4:16-18 MSG
That is enough.
You may be facing far greater challenges now, or will in the future.
Do you struggle with chronic pain or illness or disappointment? How do you handle it, react to it?
Notes to readers:
- The pictures are best viewed on a “normal” sized screen.
- If you generally read on Facebook, there is no guarantee all posts will appear on your news feed. You can fill in the form here to receive an email when there is a new post.