My bones are healing. However, every time I move, the soft tissue protests, reminding me it suffered greatly during the surgery to bolt my broken bones back together. I’m told it will be a while before I can sit or bend in comfort. Yet I have much to celebrate.
This week I went into town and had my hair cut, then out to lunch with my daughter. Except for sitting, I felt almost like my old self. In my last session at home with my physical therapist, he passed me to drive. Yesterday I drove to the store, then later to church, another milestone in this slow journey to normal.
Whatever normal is.
God, it appears, is giving me a new normal.
It began with complete helplessness, extreme pain and dependence on others for every need.
For several months unable to join in corporate worship or group Bible studies, I’ve had to draw near to the Lord in the quiet of my home, in the pain of my bed, in the shaking of my legs as I stand.
Every time I have to ask for help, I am crying inside, “Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me!”
I’d have thought by now he would have turned and touched my hip. Taken the pain away. Launched me back to productivity.
But he has chosen to lead me on the slow path of up two, back one.
A slow dance of trust.
Three times I called upon the Lord and besought [Him] about this and begged that it might depart from me; But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me! So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful in divine strength).
And while new bone grows strong, a strength emerges in my spirit.
This is how we know we’re living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He’s given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit.
So I wait.
And as I press on with physical therapy, and plan in smaller increments for my future, I am acutely aware that my body does not contain my life.
Eternity holds me.
And do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
The revelation of God is whole
and pulls our lives together.
The signposts of God are clear
and point out the right road.
The life-maps of God are right,
showing the way to joy.
The directions of God are plain
and easy on the eyes.
God’s Word is better than a diamond,
better than a diamond set between emeralds.
You’ll like it better than strawberries in spring,
better than red, ripe strawberries.
Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh!
Keep me from stupid sins,
from thinking I can take over your work;
Then I can start this day sun-washed,
scrubbed clean of the grime of sin.
Sandhill crane pair in the morning, Celery Fields
It is enough that I take life from his hand. However and wherever the path may lead. Taking time for eternity is peace.
There is no greater peace.